#reverb10 - Day 8

December 8 – Beautifully Different.

Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful.

(Author: Karen Walrond)

Man, this self-reflection shit is tough.... What makes me different? Looking back over the last year there is one thing that quite a few people have commented on; and that is my confidence and independence, my free-spirit if you like. 


These comments have come in relation to a few different things; firstly my decision to quit my steady, but boring, job in mortgage administration in order to train as a secondary school French teacher (although I made the decision in 2009, it has played a big part in 2010). This was a big decision, and not one I took lightly. It was a decision that I still often question. Brave? Perhaps. But mostly just a desperate plunge into the unknown in order to try and make something worthwhile of my life.


Secondly, and perhaps less life-changingly, a lot of people seemed to think it was very brave and exciting of me to go off for a three week road trip round the south-west USA by myself. And I suppose it was pretty brave, but I don't see it like that. What I see, is something I want to do, something I'm lucky enough to have the opportunity to do, and something that at the time I had no choice but to do on my own if I wanted to do it. I've always been an independent soul though, I remember my friends crying as they bid their families farewell and we headed off on a three week trip to Canada with the Girl Guides - while the 12 year old me gave a cheerful wave goodbye and didn't look back as I walked through the departure gate. At the age of 20 I went to work in France for 10 weeks, without knowing anyone I was going to be living or working with, and I did that time and time again, spending longer and longer away from home each time.


I guess stuff like that just doesn't scare me. It's always a surprise when people tell me they admire what I've done, it just seems normal to me. I think, perhaps, by my example, I have inspired a couple of other people to take a step they wouldn't otherwise have taken. In the future, as my time as a teacher increases, my hope is this; by telling my pupils (many of whom have never even travelled the 30 miles to Edinburgh) about my experiences, about the fun I had and the things I learned, I can inspire them to take a step into the unknown one day. That isn't something that everyone has the opportunity to do, and it's that difference which I hope will maybe, just maybe, influence the decisions that some of these teenagers make. 


Does this make me beautiful? I don't know. Self-perception is a funny thing. For the last 5 months I've been lucky enough to have someone to tell me I'm beautiful on the inside and the outside, to tell me every day just how awesome I am. I know that he believes what he is saying, and very occasionally I even start to believe him too.