Last Saturday I went to Jongleurs in Edinburgh (or Highlight, as it's now been rebranded) for only the second time since I moved to Scotland six and a half years ago. I was only there because Michael Legge was in town, and once again my belief that I should never go to Jongleurs was reconfirmed. It's just so soulless and full of people who don't seem to understand the concept of comedy. The re-brand has brought with some god-awful pre-recorded countdown announcements but by the looks of things not much else has changed. The Edinburgh venue is quite an unhelpful shape for a start; it's quite long and thin with the stage on the long side so it's quite hard for the comedians to engage the whole room....but it doesn't help when a man called Alan is sat right in front of the stage and refuses to crack so much as a smile all evening! Anyway, Michael was compering the gig and did his job admirably as always. Also on the bill were Des Clarke, Markus Birdman and Tony somebody; whose surname I can't remember and I'm not going to bother finding out because I'm going to bitch about him in a minute and I've in trouble for doing that on here before.
Des (who did SMTV after Ant and Dec left - so a real live telly star!) was on first and I thought he was great. He has a strong Glasgow accent and I struggled to catch what he was saying a few times but mostly he was very funny. His act was quite Scotland-centric which often puts me off but he did it in such a self-depreciating way that it was funny wherever you were from. Next up was Markus Birdman, he was really good too. He did a lot of very funny material about his five year old daughter, culminating in a great call-back about the size of his penis - which isn't as paedophilic as it sounds out of context!
Now then, to the final act of the evening, Tony Whatsisname. I'd had the pleasure of being left alone with this fat, sleazy, white man for the duration of the interval (I only mention his race because it is relevant later on). Now, I'm a polite person so I did what any girl would and tried to talk about myself as much as I could with out looking at him. When I mentioned I was training to be a French teacher he came out with the very flattering 'everyone always fancied the French teachers at school, yeah they were always totty'. I mean seriously? He may as well have been rubbing his thighs and licking his lips! Anyway, the delightful Tony took every opportunity to mention his family in Jamaica, and when he went on holiday to Jamaica, and oh, had he told me he had family in Jamaica? Apparently he was born in Jamaica and his act consists of him putting on a Jamaican accent (see he's white, and he's got a Jamaican accent - that's already hilarious! Isn't it? Errm, NO) and to be honest I have no idea what he actually said because I was watching on a TV in the dressing room and trying to block out as much as I could. His accent sounded more West Country than Jamaican to me but the audience clearly thought he was hilarious. Which is why people who go to Jongleurs should never be allowed to go to real comedy clubs. On the plus side, I still had a fun night out. And despite being in the company of the charming Michael Legge I managed to maintain my sobriety (well one vodka doesn't count does it?) which is an achievement in my book at least.
I continued the comedy last night with a trip to The Stand to see Mark Thomas. I saw his show in Edinburgh and really enjoyed it and due to the nature of the show, which takes policy suggestions for Mark's Manifesto from the audience, I knew there would be something different in the show this time. Much of the show was still the same, but with Mark's enthusiasm for his subject matter (basically the state of our nation) it was well worth hearing again. The Edinburgh audience didn't disappoint with their policy suggestions - with everything from 'all wigs should come with chin straps' to 'someone should follow Nick Griffin at all times (we could have a rota) and play a 'wop-wop-ooh' noise whenever he starts speaking'. Fucking brilliant. The only downside to the evening was that I was too late to get a seat and had to stand (it's not called The Stand for nothing you know. Bdum-tsh) but there's no-one to blame but me for that.
Lastly, I was supposed to go to Monday Ukearist this week to meet some fellow uke players and hopefully improve my playing but because I am lazy and can't motivate myself to do any work until the last minute I had to finish my 'Professional Portfolio' for uni that I had to hand in yesterday and I couldn't go. Hopefully I'll make it to the next one though...I really want to. I'm wearing my Ukulele Hero t-shirt today and everything!
So, until next time...have a look at http://everydayjustme.blogspot.com/ I'm still going, 20 days and counting.
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